locks of love...

I am moved daily by the thoughtfulness of my little {well, Big} girl Reese... She is always praying for people, considering their feelings, and easily moved by special moments.  I have seen her tear up over sentimental moments on television;  I have seen her "mother" her middle sister, Ramsey, even when the loving feelings are not reciprocated.  She just has a tender heart amidst all of her sassiness, which makes her all the more incredibly special :)
Over the last month or two, she and I have been discussing thoughts of cutting our long hair to shoulder length for the summer.  Her hair, even though it is beautiful and full of amazing curls, had gotten dry and brittle at the bottom, needed a very good cut, and possibly a style... we had resorted to a ponytail every single day.  Even then, her bangs fell down in her face {we are trying to grow them the length of her hair!} and she chewed {yes, chewed!} on any pieces that would reach her mouth.  Not to mention the twirling, twisting, and pulling she did on top of that.  She and I discussed the option of donating our hair to a charity - something that has been on my bucket list - to help make wigs for cancer patients.  She was excited at the thought of helping others and a new 'do'.  So this past Friday, we went to Mrs. Chrissy, and she cut the minimum required for Pantene Beautiful Lengths - a whopping 8"of blonde curls - to donate.  Immediately upon seeing her new above-the-shoulders length 'bob', her sassiness escalated... She swung her hair all around, ran her fingers through it, and then came home and we styled it any way we could.  She happily chirped, "Let's see what a head band looks like... let's see what it looks like blow dried straight... let's braid the sides..." and we managed to put every bow and hair band we own in it and modeled different styles... That kept her entertained for two days!  I think her biggest satisfaction has been how much her Daddy loves it and continually compliments her on it, and the fact that her "Big Momma" {my mom} thinks she "now looks seven!". 

Someone is going to get a BEAUTIFUL wig :) Sweetest part?  Reese asked at the salon, "Can I donate my hair to MawMaw?"  {Tann's grandmother who is battling cancer}...  Really... no words!

Help me... because I am also trying to continue to grow my long hair out, although I am desperate to cut it!  Just once, I would like to be able to donate it... I love short hair, and every time I get it this long, I chop it.  I always want drastic change when I get to the salon, and Mrs. Chrissy has to tell me "NO".  I only have 5 & 1/2" to donate right now.  Pantene donation requires a minimum of 8, and Locks of Love requires a minimum of 10.  That is a lot of hair!  Reese can grow hair fast, and I don't.  In fact, it's getting even harder, because due to my pregnancy being over, it is starting to fall out.  I also go for a daily ponytail, which is getting old.  Plus, I am constantly tempted by a cute short haircut... In fact, here is the one I desperately have in mind:

For now, I am going to attempt to continue to grow mine... I think?!

Off the subject, but before I go... We went to church AND Sunday school and successfully got all three girls dressed and arrived on time yesterday!! We also ate lunch at a restaurant with all three girls and Tanner and I were alone {no grandparent's assistance} for the first time yesterday!  Big feat!!  Here is a picture of the girls in their matching outfits :) I won't get to do this long and include Reese... She'll soon be "too cool!"



Note:  Ramsey does not sit it a bumbo... ha... but she will climb on anything, and this has become a stepping stool for her to reach other things... it just happened to be out in the middle of the floor handy, and let me tell you - getting her to sit still for a picture is impossible, and this thing just did the trick for one quick snap!  And Ryan is not happy with the noise level it required to get this shot :)

Have a great day!

in all fairness...

I try, so hard, to do things "fairly" amongst the girls... I know, it sounds silly, but that is also part of my OCD personality.  Even though they are small, and don't really realize what each has done and when, later on in life, when I am giving them each their things I have done/saved over the years, I don't want anyone to feel less special than the other. 

Several things that make me feel they are "equal": 

1. I love them all, with all my heart and soul, and want the very best for them - first and foremost!
2. They are all born on Wednesdays, in SS, at HCMH, delivered by Dr. Ram, and with Leah as my nurse.  They have each been breastfed (which is best!) and been overall healthy, been cared for by me at home for atleast 6 months or more, and have used Dr. Conner.
3. I have kept up in their baby books - and they have had well-documented lives on film (both video and photos), and each have their baby "Brandy" picture collages in our hallway. 

Here is the link to Ryan's "Brandy" pictures:  http://www.hugsandhissyfitsphotography.com/proofs/index.php?do=photocart&viewGallery=2516

I know, it sounds absurd, I'm sure... but I can't help it!  There are a million other "try to be fair" things I do, that aren't even coming to me at the moment...  And I know I can't control everything and make it fair, but when I can, I plan to :)  Having said that, here is where I am going...

This past Sunday, we had Ryan's baby dedication at church.  Now my other two girls each had their own baby dedication to themselves.  This time we did it with a group - which is what the church has gone to because of the increased amount of babies and dedications each year.  At first, I will admit, I was a little disappointed to share, but knew that we had to dedicate Ryan, and that it was a special day (Mother's Day)... but what made it even more special was that some of my great friends also had their child/children dedicated that day!  It was a very, very sweet ceremony, even with a large group, and the church staff did an amazing job of putting together the bulletin, passing out keepsakes, etc. for each individual to feel special and unique.  It included individual prayers from the pastor, and the bulletin shared special verses to each child involved.  It really was special, and special for Ryan on her dedication day.

Mother's Day was really special, too, because I got to spend the day with my girls and Tann, spending time with my mother-in-law, mom, step-mom, grandmothers and grandmother-in-laws, and step-grandmothers... I am very blessed to have a wonderful family, all the way around - Tanner's family is wonderful, and I am extremely thankful for them everyday for a million different reasons.  I am also very thankful for loving step-families - I hate that word "step", because in reality, they are all very much my parents/family.  They love me and my family just the same as their own.  We went to church, had lunch, had naps, swam, and had dinner.

I guess that is all for now... Atleast I updated!!  Wahoo! :) I wanted to share a few pictures and say, "Hello!" from the Ragan household!  Hope you all have a great week!

long time, no post...

I know, I know!!! I'm in trouble!  Usually I'm on top of these sort of things... me and my OCD self can't stand to not keep things up-to-date and organized!!  But life has proven to be a little hectic in the last four weeks...

Hmmm... what to report... well, nothing TOO terribly exciting... no illnesses, no accidents, no problems... no news is good news, right?

Things are extremely busy, but exciting with three little girls :) Reese and Tanner's schedules are now in full swing with softball (no pun intended!) games and practices... their team is really great - no losses, and Reese has had a successful second season so far!  I really encourage you to see a game if you can - it's amazing to watch children their age play ball, and entertaining too!  Reese is also busy, reading up a storm!  She is constantly picking up books and reading to Ramsey, or her Dad and me.  We continue to be impressed with how much she has learned at Water Oak this year - last week she brought worksheets home where she had labeled clocks with the correct times, and another sheet with the planets listed on their correct path of the solar system.  Not to mention, the double-digit math!  I'm excited for her to move over to the "Yellow" school (Water Oak) kindergarten and get started... there is no limit to what that child will learn! 

And Ramsey?  Well, never a dull moment!  She is talking up a storm... and I mean, literally, talking like crazy!  I always wondered if she would learn to talk, since Reese talks so much, I sort of thought she might be quiet and let Reese speak for her.  Boy, was I wrong!  I can't have a conversation without her two cents - and sometimes it is a long line of jibberish... but it's amazing how much you can understand her!  She is best at screaming, "Reese!" either looking for her big sister, or demanding that Reese leave her alone (mostly the latter!).  She also loves "poparts" (pop-tarts) and "nonuts" (donuts) for breakfast, and still has a bottle in the morning and at bedtime, which she can clearly say, "bottle".  She loves to sing, too, nursery rhymes like "Row your boat" and "Patty cake", but also songs off the charts that she picks up from Reese and Bayler, like, " Baby, baby, baby, OH!" by Justin Bieber, and "Stuck like glue" by Sugarland.  She climbs on EVERYTHING... from climbing up the side of my bed (by digging her toes into the side of my mattress and pulling up on the sheets) to get to Ryan, climbing up the side of her Daddy's recliner to sit with him (again, using those toes!) and even the oven door. Below is a picture of her sitting in the middle of her toy box... she climbed over lots of obstacles to get to the box, then just climbed on in.  She also washed her pj bottoms in her toilet, peed in the hallway - in which Reese slipped and fell, played in a jar of vasoline (it took me a LOT of shampoos to get that out of her hair!!), and on and on... she definately keeps us on our toes!

And Ryan?  She's growing like a weed!  I always say I can't tell if my babies are growing, because I see them all day, everyday... but I can tell she is growing!  She is longer on my torso, I swear, every time I pick her up!  And she is getting heavier, and rounder... and she gave me one of her first real smiles earlier... I'm sad that it has already been a month (on Friday) since she arrived - it is going waaaay too fast! - but I'm also excited to see her personality, and what I think are her Daddy's inherited dimples!! Yay!  (I always prayed atleast one of my children would get them, and my blues eyes {Reese - check!})  She is a great eater and a great sleeper, and overall a good baby... but I will admit, she's a Momma's girl... I probably hold her way too much... is that even possible??

We had a great Easter, with waaay to many egg hunts... but the girls loved it, and even Ramsey got the hang of it!  I love holidays - lots of opportunity to spend time with family!  

I guess that is all for now - Tann and I, well we are great!  We are loving our life right now, even though we never slow down!  It is so nice to look over at him, and savor those moments that make us smile while we are watching our children... They are all three super special, and have their own little comical habits and personality :)

We have several things coming up - Mother's Day, which is also special because Ryan will be dedicated at church, and several promising prospects for buying our house - which is super exciting, and scary to think of moving right now, all at once!  We really do need more space, and so I know it will be worth the trouble...

I will TRY to post again weekly, if time allows!

ryan mitchell ragan...

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change of plans...

I put this picture at the front of our new baby girl, Ryan's, photo album, so we will always remember the unexpected events that led to her early arrival...

This is a view of our day on Monday, April 4th... Reese started early Monday morning vomiting, after catching the nasty bug that had been roaming around.  I spent what was supposed to be the start of my "last week of rest before the baby" by cleaning linens, cleaning my child, cleaning, cleaning, washing, sanitizing... for baby was due to arrive via scheduled c-section the following Friday, April 8.  Reese got some medicine and stopped throwing up, but never could quite get her strength back.  And by 8pm Monday night, my tummy had begun to take the familiar turn, and I could sense what was coming... I had caught it, too. 

By the time Tanner made it home from his Monday sale, I was in the bathroom permanently parked, and in agonizing pain - the dehydration had started my contractions, that got stronger and stronger.  So strong, that by midnight I was having a solid contraction every minute - not as much painful as just my stomach was as hard as a rock.  {Later they described them as "irritable contractions"} Anyhow, leaving my babies in the hands of my mom, and without a bag packed, or anything prepared for the arrival of this baby {remember... I was supposed to have a few more days to prepare and rest!} we made our way to the hospital.   Dr. Ram was contacted, and ordered the nurses to hydrate me, give me nausea medicine, and try to stop my labor.  (He had been gone like 10 minutes, from just having finished another emergency c-section... I think he delivered 10+ babies while I was in the hospital for 6 days).  It would not be ideal for me to have surgery while I was this sick, but none the less, they refused to let me eat anything or drink anything because they were leaning toward a c-section first thing the next morning.  I was in misery - nauseated, with monitors all over me, trying to rest with the thought of our baby coming emergently, plus the shot they gave me to stop my labor was painful, and caused my heart to race, which did not allow for any sleep that night.  At 5:30am, when they start to prep those first few for surgery, they came in my room and said that Dr. Ram would be in shortly, and that my contractions had slowed, but were still very regular.  After two prior c-sections, they did not want me to go into full-blown labor.  Dr. Ram came at around 7am, and said, "We cannot wait until Friday, but I don't think you are ready to undergo surgery... how about tomorrow morning? {Wednesday}"  I was made to stay in bed and rest, and rehydrate by IV fluids and liquid diet only, which was as closed to prepared as I was going to be before baby girl #3 made her appearance.  She, after all, was doing great in the belly, despite all of the craziness. Tanner got the girls by to visit me, he and mom prepared the bag that should have already been packed, and we got it in our heads that we would have our baby the next day!  By that afternoon, Reese was still not herself, I was only back up to par, and Tanner was coming down with the bug...  That's when the serious prayers kicked up!  As much as I would have loved to spent the evening with my family, I sent them home to rest in their own beds, including Tanner - got him some meds, and I was allowed to take all the monitors off and truly sleep on Tuesday night. 

Wednesday morning came without a hitch - Tanner was feeling better, my nurse Lea had rearranged her schedule from working Friday to working Wednesday, so she could be with me {for my third and last baby - she was my nurse with all of my girls and is the best!} and I was rehydrated enough to have surgery.  I had my scripture ready for the spinal - got Kevin as my CNA again, who, by the way, is also the best - and at 7:30am, was wheeled back to the OR.  My spinal was merely a needle stick - if that!!  Thank you, God, and for the promise you give in 2 Corinthians 12:9!!

At 8:07 am, on Wednesday, April 6 {one day after her great-grandmother's birthday, for whom she is named}baby girl Ryan Mitchell Ragan, weighing a whopping 8'14 and measuring 19.5" long, made her grand entrance into this big world, screaming all the way!  We named her in the OR, while her Daddy held her for the first time - the name, which was our "gut feeling" name the whole time...

Isn't she perfect?!  I adore her, as much as the other two!  My spinal and surgery went perfectly, and even more importantly, so did my tubal ligation! 

My nurse, Lea!  Love her :)  Forgive the way I look... hard few days!  This is in the recovery room, when I first held Ryan!

I am so thankful for a healthy baby, because it minimizes everything that happened after that... which was not so good...

The first day, I spent wonderfully medicated!  Thanks to all of you who came by and visited - not sure who you are, because the Demerol and Morphine were working well!  And as my friend KK says, who recently had her third girl, 13 months after her last one, just like us, "the warming blankets are pure bliss"!

The next day, the pain was ridiculous... by the afternoon, they realized that something wasn't exactly right with my stomach - it had distended to almost the size it was at delivery.  Dr. Ram consulted the general surgeon, Dr. Deniz, and sent me to x-ray to check for a bowel obstruction.  Do you know how hard it is to climb onto a 5ft-high, hard, cold, metal table 2 days after abdominal surgery?? Thank you, Blake Caldwell, a lifelong friend, for being my radiology tech - he is very strong - it took all of his strength to get me onto the table, AND lean me onto my back.  Painful, yet better than it could have been, thanks to him.  The silver lining to all of this, was the priveledge to meet a very sweet, comical doc (who said the word "fart" more than should be legal in the medical field!!), and Dr. Ram's continued concern for my well-being.  I really appreciate all of the people who took care of me.  Have I mentioned that Lea was my nurse at all of my deliveries, and Dr. Ram delivered our entire family - that's right, even Tanner and me :)  He is retiring this fall.

Long story short, thanks to my pre-op virus, my potassium had been depleted, and I had developed an ileus. It could have been worse- an actual obstruction or loop in my bowel.  I was immediately taken off all of my pain medications (fun times!) and given IV potassium and IV reglan to get my intestines working again.  After about 5 doses of reglan and 2 more days of IV fluids (me and that dang IV pole became very good friends... and I was never so happy to see it gone, and quit dragging it around!!), I was finally better. 

I stayed in the hospital all the way until Saturday.  Finally, it was time to go home!  It took a whole 30 minutes to discharge me, and I could not have been happier to get out of Post-partum Room C. 

Our family today...

Sweet sisters...

Reese welcomes her home...

Sleeping beauty...

Well... I will wrap up this novel - we are home, settled, and so very, incredibly blessed!!  I can't help but look around here at all of these healthy, beautiful little girls, and not almost cry at the thought of what precious gifts we have been given!  We have had three amazing babies who are calm, peaceful, and best of all - sleep!  She is a great eater, and when she is awake, she is alert, calm, and taking in all of her surroundings!  Reese and Ramsey are doing fantastic... Reese is such a big help - likes to push me a little and test how far she can go (similar to when Ramsey arrived), but overall, is adjusting wonderfully.  And Ramsey - is the same independent little tooter as before... still getting into everything, but LOVES to plant kisses all over her "bebes," as she calls her little sister.  She does sometimes grab Ryan's forehead and try to pull "bebes" down to her level, so we have to watch her, but it's only to give her sugars... so sweet - I am so looking forward to how their relationships grow over the years - I know they will be so close and love each other so much! 

It was a little crazy loading the back seat of my car with three little girls this morning... but amazingly rewarding!  This is only the beginning of many happy memories!

counting down the days...

This is the last weekend I will ever have a baby bump!  Bittersweet... As uncomfortable as things are becoming, I am sad to think I will never feel the miracle of a precious life growing inside of me again... The whole thing is truly a miracle, isn't it?  After church today, I have really had some time to reflect on what an incredible journey having children is... You pray for them, and for their health; you take care of them in the womb, by protecting and caring for your body; you get to know them and their patterns, recognize their different {and sharp!} parts, like elbows, knees, and heels;  and you love them, more than anything in the world, and you've never even met them!  Then you spend the rest of your lives, regardless of how long or short that may be, praying for them, doing everything you possibly can to guide them, teach them, and protect them... It's all a little overwhelming!

I also am in awe and so incredibly thankful for praying friends and family that surround us...  I had the sweetest message from a friend of ours that brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it {I saved it}!  It is so encouraging to know that others genuinely care and love our family, and even more so, take the time to lift us up in prayer.  When I think about all of our family, church family, friends, Sunday school class, Bible study groups, social clubs, etc. who are praying for us, it really gives me a peace beyond description about having this baby - the anesthesia, the surgery, the recovery, and most importantly, for how we will raise her.  Even in the moments when I catch myself getting anxiety about having another c-section, or having a third child, I find a great peace in knowing others are praying with me, and for me.  Thank you, if that includes you! 

A lot of you know, my anesthesia with Reese didn't go so well, and since she was my first, it put a bad taste in my mouth for all future spinals... One of my great friends, Lacy Harry Coker, gave me a verse to claim in the OR when I delivered Ramsey.  I didn't feel my spinal at all... This pregnancy, I have gotten a verse from one of my great friends Natalie Price White to claim during my spinal... She recently delivered Mr. Mason Greggory White 8 weeks early, and just days ago, by the grace of God, got to bring her new baby home. Congratulations!  And once again - shows the power of praying friends!
The scripture is from 2 Corinthians:

"But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

I will be clinging to that verse this Friday at noon, as I deliver our third and final baby girl... I ask you to pray with us as well!

Other things I am reflecting on and thankful for today:  my first and second baby girls, Reese and Ramsey... how blessed Tanner and I have been by them, how beautiful they are, how sweet and loving and compassionate, how different and distinct their personalities are, and how much love they have for each other.  I think they are what makes me most excited about another little girl... their baby sister.  And obviously, I am so incredibly thankful for Tanner, what an incredible husband and father he is... how helpful he is, and how much he loves me and his baby girls - regardless that he is wildly outnumbered :)  There is nothing sweeter than watching him with our children... It is hard to grasp that 5 {almost 6!} short years ago we were married and now, within the week, we will have a family of five - our complete family! 

Obviously, I am very hormonal and emotional today... closing a chapter in our lives {carrying babies} and moving forward {raising babies}... Thanks for being a part and sharing in the sweetness... 
My plans this week are to rest, rest, rest!  Ramsey is feeling like a whole new child... she is well, and successfully switched to soy milk, which has tremendously improved her allergies!  Reese is doing great - busy with softball, and highly anticipating the arrival of her newest sister {and getting to miss a day of school!}.   Hopefully, the next time you check for an update, we will have the arrival of a new little life to report :) 

Have a great week!

Our family today... four... soon to be FIVE!

a not-so-good, very-bad-day...

Well, truly, I can't complain - when I think about my minor problems compared to others more important and complicated problems, I have too much to be thankful for to be so gripey!

Today was not so much fun... it started out with day two of breathing treatments for Ramsey, which although started out well, have proven to make her already-aggravated attitude even more difficult.  She pretty much stood at my feet and cried and whined ALL day long.  When I tried to lay her down for nap - which she usually loves - she cried the entire time.  She threw her food down, all the while screaming and demanding, "Bite! Bite!".  I just couldn't figure out what she wanted or how to please her. 

I also went to my doctor's appointment.  Although I had big plans in my head to have the baby THIS Friday, April 1st, that too was also not going to work.  Dr. Ram informed me that it is the hospital's new policy, not to allow him to schedule anyone earlier than 38 weeks unless it is an emergency.  I am not technically 38 weeks until Saturday... boo!  His surgery day is Wednesday, or within limits, he can also do surgery on Fridays.  I voted for next Wednesday, and Tanner voted for next Friday.  Once again, I lost... Tann didn't want to have to miss too many sales, which I understand, but it just means 48 extended hours of togethernesss for me and baby, and we are getting a little tired of each other.  I am officially on the HCMH calendar as an April 8, 2011 scheduled c-section, probably around noon.  It beats getting to the hospital for a 7:30 am section, but because I can't eat anything after midnite, and then only eat ice chips/clear liquids for 2 days, I am thinking a noon section is going to cause some hunger pains... one more small sacrafice for the miracle we are getting.

To top it off, I get the bright idea that Ramsey and I should get out of the house this afternoon while Tann and Reese go to softball practice... this will help her attitude, and mine - which at this point is on a fast race downhill.  We gather up a few things I needed to return to my mom, and head to her house.  When we arrived, she was outside and it had just begun to mist.  I set Ramsey down, and walked toward my mom where she was visiting with my grandad {they live across the street}.  Out of nowhere, the dang dog {large, brown, HYPER lab} hauls across the yard to mom, and then heads straight past me and toward Ramsey.  She was standing on the concrete sidewalk, so I could just envision her getting knocked down very hard by his speed and weight.  When he passed me, I reached for him to stop him, and slipped on the grass... I did avoid falling completely down, but I think that might have been better than the pain it caused to stay upright... I pulled about *&^%!! number of muscles in my groin/pelvis/lower abs, which were already hurting.  It literally took my breath away - and I'm not sure who was more scared - my grandad, who watched me avoid the fall, or Ramsey, who saw a BIG dog coming at her... he did run past her, but I am pretty sure she will be petrified of dogs for a while.  At this point, if you thought I was whiney, you haven't seen anything... I am not moving faster than 1.5 miles per hour, and complaining all the while.  Let's pray this baby makes her own appearance soon!

On a happier note, our great friends Amanda and Jarred Pickett were kind enough to treat us to take out San Remo and her famous "dirt bike cake" which is something incredible that includes cream cheese/sugar/oreos and other fantabulous ingredients :) She happened to call me this afternoon to know when she could drop off the cake, and when she heard my voice, she added dinner to the plans.  We love you Amanda and Jarred, and thank you so much!  It was perfect timing, because I am not sure I could have stood long enough to prepared any dinner... it really meant a lot!

So now... I am off to shower, take some Tylenol, and head to bed.  Ramsey is down, Tanner is resting in his chair, and Reese is coloring.  Maybe I could benefit from 10 more days before this baby arrives... it sure is quiet around here :)